the admiralcy

we used to have this thing, this anomolous, imaginary vehicle that once we were smugly proud to be a part of called the lonely boat. it's been many years since the lonely boat first set sail, to wander its aimless ways though the waters of love and lovelessness. we had rules; not just anyone could be a mate on the lonely boat and many charlatans who wanted on were trialed and subsequently kicked off for their frequent midnight outings and unauthorized shore leaves. i've been the admiral of this particular boat for nearly 7 years. people think it's funny, they want to join for fun and to feel sorry for themselves when they're down, but they'll soon get the boot because they don't have the heart. they come at it like it's a self-deprecating joke. even samantha, an old love of mine, keeps up on the admiral kick, thinking i should be the admiral forever, giving me a liquorice pipe that actually would go very nicely with a peacoat and a navy blue admiral's hat. but the joke is stale. i don't want to be the admiral anymore.

buzz started the lonely boat. he's been off and on since i took over the admiralcy. he was the original admiral. that's him in the picture above with shawn (pumpkin) on the roof of my old apartment in san francisco. he still lives there, and like me, is trying his hardest to get off the boat. the boat sucks. it's my albatross. at one time we thought it was like our fight club—a place for the unloved, lost souls disappointed in everything life had given them—but now it's really not that desireable, to the old timers anyway. on that note (SF), susan went home today. i had a lot of fun with her here and probably drank too much. in all honesty, she ought to be here. but she's in SF. i still like SF. i still have a lot of friends there (and some unfinished business with some asshole kid). i just think she should be here instead.

in other news... i miss my roof in SF, watching the fog roll in so fast over twin peaks every night in summer. particular spots i like in SF: clement in the richmond. amazing food for cheap. my friend cindy lived out there and kept me alive for over a year. el castillito on mission and 17th. get the quesadillia castillito. sandwich place on 16th and mission. phone booth on 25th and van ness. turkish coffee at phil's coffee on 24th and harrison. the japanese lunch place at pacific and sansome (avocado sushi, jerry plate special, cheap half-teriyaki chicken). chilin' stair spot on sansome or battery and washington. drinking beers at night on bernal hill. bonfires at ocean beach eating baked potatoes. when i think of more i will edit appropriately.

also today (8.13) is heather's birthday. happy birthday, heather. also i think i telepathically vibed sonic youth to open their set at mccaren park with teenage riot on saturday night.