after the fall

i haven't been updating recently because i've been watching the philadelphia flyers unlikely and improbable run to the Stanley Cup. well, they finally lost it last night to a weird goal that should have been saved, but it wasn't. very depressing for me, since it's been a good 23 years since i first watched them in the finals. not that this photo has anything to do with any of that. this one is from the yashica t4, in 2004, on a short road trip to big sur from san francisco on the 1. very weird time for me back then.

the price I pay

More photos from that one trip I took back in 2003. These are a continuation of the film I shot with the Pen-EE. I'm starting to get the hang of color correcting in Photoshop, but nonetheless most of the photos I've taken with the tiny Pen-EE are better than the ones I've shot with the more elaborate Pen FT, which is a bit of a shame since the latter cost about 10 times as much. I'm still working on getting to know that one (the FT) as well, and one of the things I'm learning is that even when the handheld light meter and the camera's internal meter match up, the pictures will still be overexposed. I figure I'm going to scrap the attempts to use E6 with the FT for now since it seems to be too precise for the camera and I'll stick to shooting color negative with it, which seems pretty much fine. It doesn't make sense, but it's going to take some time for me to figure out what's the problem. On a slightly side-note, at least all the photos I took when I was in SF last weren't all f'd up by my own hand or by airplane x-rays, though the true cause is still a mystery to me and doesn't really ease the disappointment in losing all those scenes.

Anyhow, these move in somewhat chronological order: Topanga Canyon road just outside Santa Monica on the way to Malibu, to a ways up north. Check out those crazy green sneakers I had on and the motor-ing fuel (Mountain Dew—every road trip in those days was all about junk food. The first drive back from LA to Delaware consisted of 4 packs of peanut butter crackers and about 8 liters of Mountain Dew.) For a while I also added chain smoking to the mix of candy, soda, and punching the roof in time with the music, but in later years the smoking habit had gotten pretty foul. I still like to do it occasionally. There's also a photo of the Road Warrior Integra (the car I bought for $300 while living in Sacramento—even though it looked totally beat up, I totally loved that car) and the good luck charm I hung off the rear view mirror to keep me safe.

motor away pt. 1

The first photos are from an unknown (meaning I can't remember which) beach while driving up the 1 back whenever I first did it. It must have been 2003. I posted some other photos from this same trip here and there and I'm starting to archive the rest of the photos but it's taking forever to scan and work on the images since my computer takes about 30 seconds to 2 minutes to complete any action these days, especially when I'm working with big files such as these. The later ones were the middle hours of driving up the 1, when I was beginning to realize I couldn't stop every time I saw something I thought was completely life changing, but was still trying not to crash my car. I was torn between hauling ass on those lonely stretches of pavement and stopping every third of a mile. I guess I tried to compromise with both until it got too dark to shoot any more. It's kind of strange, looking at these photos because it causes a sort of reverse nostalgia for the photos I lost (or more accurately, fucked up) of Susan and I driving along the 1 last month. It's not quite "reverse nostalgia"; it's more that the order of my emotions toward these photos and the ones I screwed up are reversed—the older ones are making me miss and regret the would-be newer ones more. I guess it's probably for the best anyhow.

get lost

Getting lost on the 1 from Los Angeles to San Francisco. I'd never driven it before, but decided kind of on a whim to do the drive after visiting a friend in LA and being beguiled by the sights on a short drive past Malibu. I've walked along the 1 before; I forget what it's called once it's past Sunset, but once I had this crappy bike and I was foolishly riding it in the pitch blackness of Sunset Drive from Gayley and Veteran toward the ocean, determined to make this fatalistic and ill-advised journey. I got a flat tire about halfway to the beach, and ended up half-walking, half-dragging the bike behind me. I don't know why I didn't just abandon the thing, but I eventually got to the 1 and saw the lights at Santa Monica Pier. I didn't know where else to go, so I started walking to the Pier, figuring at least there I would know where I was. All in all, I ended up walking about 12 miles along Sunset, the 1 and Santa Monica Boulevard back home.

I took these photos on my first trip up the 1. I'm pretty sure if I had the opportunity again I'd probably take just as long (9 hours) to do the drive as I did this time, since I was constantly stopping, taking pics, having a smoke, standing over the edges of cliffs overlooking the ocean, staring out into the sea, trying somehow to take all of this vastness in. There's a couple specific places I want to go back and shoot, but I don't know if that will ever happen. I took these photos with my Pen-EE and used a Minolta Autometer V to get the exposures. I had about three cameras on this trip and have a lot of photos to dig through. These were some that came first to mind. I wish I could go back...

Also, if anyone actually reads this, I've been a little absent lately in updating the pages. I've been increasingly overwhelmed by work, surrounded by books, magazines, articles and other stuff I need to read and not getting anywhere, watching hockey, working on Fanzine, working on a new fishing/cooking site with Ben, etc. Trying to pull it all together and hope to update a little more frequently than just once a week...

a quick one while he's away

slideshow my friend Ernie made for a song by my brother. these photos were taken by Ernie when he and his now-ex came to visit me in San Francisco in 2005. good times driving up and down the 1, my favorite thing.

more mission rex stuff coming later this week.

the road home and mission records

on the way back from LA










mission records




the last two photos I took with the great olympus pen-EE half-frame camera. it has a fixed shutter speed (1/60) and a fixed focal length. The fixed shutter speed is pretty cool and makes it easy to use, but is obviously problematic in low light/bright light areas. it also has this light cell thing around the lens that set the aperture automatically for ISOs 200 and below. since the camera is about 40 years old (or maybe more) the light cells aren't that accurate anymore, but still not too far off. there was only one naked light in my shithole room in Mission Records, so that's all I had to use for these shots. I've never seen or printed these before I scanned them in. The last one is the only photo I have of Simon, Casey, and me together, and maybe the only photo ever.

I'm not really sure what camera I used for the other photos. I'm guessing it was the Yashica T5 since they're just some snapshots I took while driving home and gasing up on the I-5 back from LA.

It's a sad and beautiful world

these are just a few of the many photos i shot on US1 (but i think the only ones with the Hassleblad) on the way back to San Francisco from LA for the first time. i think it was 2003. it took about nine hours total, with all the stopping on the sides of roads and navigating the winding, serpentine turns alongside cliffs that drop hundreds of feet. i remember distinctly slamming on the brakes and skidding off toward those cliffs when i saw something amazing, which was pretty much everywhere. when i got back to SF i started to make a habit of driving north or south on the 1 for hours whenever i needed to get out of the city or was having some kind of mental breakdown and just hang out on a cliff and watch the ocean or read a book or whatever. smoke cigarettes. it all seemed to do me a lot of good since i never took any medication for my mental problems, which were probably just as bad as anyone else's.

i remember doing a lot of driving those days, listening to tapes and smoking parliaments. it was a good car i had: 1988 acura integra special edition, with the ridiculous rear spoiler made of solid rubber which made the trunk hatch weigh like 50 pounds. black faded by the sactown sun. bought the car while i was living in sacramento for $300 off a japanese kid who was moving back to japan. it had 3 different size tires when i bought it.

this whole driving/motorist theme will come up a lot in future posts. this is just a start. also, burning and dodging is a lot easier in the darkroom than in photoshop. still trying to get the hang of it.