Red Foreman, heroic assholes take 2

"When I die, I want to be buried face down, so that everyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass."

update: 9.15
that's my most memorable quote from the dad on that '70s show. admittedly, i didn't watch this show very much when it was on. i knew it was funny, but for whatever reason i never really watched it (reasons vary from: (1) i didn't have a tv; (2) i had a tv but only got like 2 channels; (3) i had a tv but i didn't get any channels; (4) i didn't know when it was on.). well anyway i started watching the reruns in the past few months. foreman is the archetypal, red-blooded american tv dad. he's mostly an asshole to his friends (donna's dad, bob), his wife (when he can), and the kids (the dumbasses). [personally, i want to do with "douchebag" what red foreman did for "dumbass"; that is, make it a household epithet.] aside from being a nixon-lover, red has his redemptive side too—see the episode when hyde's dad comes back and hyde moves out of the foreman house. or the episode when they have to clean out jackie's parent's cabin and red finds a stash of pot on hyde and kicks him out of the house, even though you can tell he doesn't really want to. he's a man of principles—but he's also somewhat beaten down by life. he has a Walter Mitty thing going on with kitty, even though he strives to pretend he's the man of the house, as most men will try to do before finally surrendering any say in the relationhip. anyway... this whole post is kind of silly, but red foreman... he's not number 2 by choice, but rather by merit of the above quote, which bumps him up to somewhere in the top five. i think i'll have that engraved on my tombstone... well... since i plan on being cremated maybe i'll have it engraved on an urn and tossed into the sea.

other stuff... my flight to maine got cancelled by the dicks at delta, who failed to inform me until i was already at the airport. when i tried to do electronic check-in, i got some fucked up message that told me my flight had already left at 12.51 am the previous night. then i called delta to find out what the fuck was going on and i got some some outsourced customer service dude from india who took forever to confirm my flight was cancelled and to tell me the next flight out of JKF wouldn't be for another 5 hours. so i have to fly out tomorrow, which sucks because it's pretty much like losing a day and a half of hanging out in maine. tonight i told alexis i didn't want to talk to her anymore and she sent me some link of steven seagal singing the blues with some backup band. why, i don't know—in both senses. for some reason i'm a dick for wanting fried chicken and get annoyed when people say "oh, that's gross." well, ya know what? i think a fuckin' $30 hamburger is gross. sorry if my taste buds aren't as sophisticated and well off as yours. anyway, another night. i'm still the asshole.

ps. to people who don't have bedbugs: you don't really help the situation by making light of it to the people who do. you don't understand that you're being an asshole. unless you've actually dealt with bedbugs, woken up 15 times at night slapping at things you think are bedbugs, woken up screaming and covered with hyper-paranoid sweat because you know you have bedbugs and you know that, at some point in the night, they're going to get you, checked yourself every morning for the 5 or 6 new bug bites that appear in random spots from your back to your legs to your arm to your neck to your face, don't talk to me about bedbugs, and please don't fucking try to make fun of me about having bedbugs or make me sympathize with you for being creeped out about bedbugs. that's not very nice, and to paraphrase number one asshole vincent gallo, being nice feels real good.