Tuesday, November 14, 2006

the tyranny of distance

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update: 11.15.06
Pretty much all day today I've been getting these angry Myspace bulletins from my friends in San Francisco about this WTO press release and its proposal to introduce a form of what it calls "compassionate slavery" into Africa. The release is based on a conference held by WTO representative Hanniford Schmidt at the Wharton Business School in Philadelphia, and its contents range from the outlandishly insulting to the absolutely ridiculous. Among the notable quotes:

"Full, untrammelled stewardry is the best available solution to African poverty, and the inevitable result of free-market theory," Schmidt told more than 150 attendees. Schmidt acknowledged that the stewardry program was similar in many ways to slavery, but explained that just as "compassionate conservatism" has polished the rough edges on labor relations in industrialized countries, full stewardry, or "compassionate slavery," could be a similar boon to developing ones.

"Today, in African factories, the only concern a company has for the worker is for his or her productive hours, and within his or her productive years," he [Schmidt] said. "As soon as AIDS or pregnancy hits—out the door. Get sick, get fired. If you extend the employer's obligation to a 24/7, lifelong concern, you have an entirely different situation: get sick, get care. With each life valuable from start to finish, the AIDS scourge will be quickly contained via accords with drug manufacturers as a profitable investment in human stewardees. And educating a child for later might make more sense than working it to the bone right now."

Each time, he [Schmidt] noted, the trade has brought tremendous wealth to the West but catastrophe to Africa, with poverty steadily deepening and ever more millions of dead. "So far there's a pattern: Good for business, bad for people. Good for business, bad for people. Good for business, bad for people. That's why we're so happy to announce this fourth phase for business between Africa and the West: good for business—GOOD for people."

"This is what free trade's all about," said Schmidt. "It's about the freedom to buy and sell anything—even people."

After reading the article I could see how quick the left would be to jump on this. Of all the evil organizations to rail against, the current Republican administration, pharmaceutical companies, the automobile industry, and the WTO are in the top five. And with WTO reps making comments like the last one above ("It's about the freedom to buy and sell anything—even people."), it becomes an even easier target, a figurative untapped oil well to fuel the hatred of corporations for left-wing reactionaries, peace punks and anarchists. But one quote is key here:

One conference attendee asked what incentive employers had to remain as stewards once their employees are too old to work or reproduce. Schmidt responded that a large new biotech market would answer that worry. He then reminded the audience that this was the only possible solution under free-market theory.

There were no other questions from the audience that took issue with Schmidt's proposal.


The quote, while pretty mild in terms and relations of the other outrageous proposals in the press release, should be significant as a red flag. On the one hand, it shows that the WTO's prominence and authority over trade and its ambition over control of the world's industries cannot be questioned. Intelligent people in the audience didn't seem to find any problem with a proposal of formal slavery in Africa, the idea of helping third-world countries by, in a sense, giving people (i.e. corporations) in first-ones an ability to feel "empowered" by doing so.

To some people, it should have raised another red flag—one more akin to a corporate wink and nod. There's a group called the Yes Men who have, in the past, impersonated representatives of the WTO at various high-level conferences in Europe, proposing equally ridiculous ideas and garnering similar response (one proposal in Geneva was to outfit corporate managers in a gold lycra suit, with vibration sensors on the ass to monitor employee morale, as well as this big phallic projection that extended from the crotch of the suit with a monitor at the end facing the wearer of said suit, presumably to watch employees over closed-circuit surveillance) from the audience. That is, very little. Some murmurs, some concealed giggling (at the revelation of the suit [underneath a tear-away business suit]), some note taking, but no questions. It's possible that the audience was so baffled they didn't know where to start, but part of the Yes Men's M.O. is to show just how far organizations can go without being questioned as an authority. The other part of their M.O. is this: "Identity Correction: Honest people impersonate big-time criminals in order to publicly humiliate them. Targets are leaders and big corporations who put profits ahead of everything else." (Quote taken from their site.)

[Aside, the Yes Men have a movie: The Yes Men Movie. And here is a pic I stole of the suit:
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End aside.]

On the other side of that are the fooled, in this case, the left wing. On the one hand they were so quick to pounce on the WTO and its ridiculous propositions that lines like, "Those who don't like whaling can purchase rights to specific whales or groups of whales in order to stop those particular whales from getting whaled as much," failed to register as satire. The same way that very-intelligent backers of free trade were exposed by the Yes Men's antics as WTO representatives as passive and unquestioningly supportive of the WTO, no matter how fucking retarded their claims were, the November 15 press release showed a lot of otherwise intelligent lefties as visceral, and sometimes naive, reactionaries. They read the outrageous proposals and their hearts raced and blood pressure jumped. They also took what the WTO says at face value. I'm no fan of the right or corporations, but this time, the joke is on the left.

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you've been had guys. sayonara.

random notes: check out the similarities of the pages
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real WTO page
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Yes Men page

also: i just realized i've entered the real world of blogging. which sucks. blogging has ruined the writing market. everyone who has one of these thinks they're a writer. i just helped put myself out of a job. there's no money in writing anyway. top picture: image i made for a mix-tape. photo from a cross-country airplane shot on chrome with yashica t-5.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

have you seen this man?

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come back scottie. come back and skate. i'll lend you that 25 cents you wanted. oh yeah, why do you look like donnie darko in your mugshot?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

K.H.

run motherfucker run.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

people gettin' married

edit: updated 10.29


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my boy brian got married this weekend to his girl juliana and it was a hell of a wedding. man i had a shitload of fun and so did brian because he was tearing the shit out of that dancefloor. i'm drunk now, and gotta go to work in a few hours, but i'll post up more pics as i get them. congrats to those two.


ps. my boy ben got married last weekend but i don't have any pics of that. hooray for ben.


pps. i have more pic of brian's wedding, but i'm too drunk to upload them right now... so tomorrow i'll hook up more.


here we go:


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oh snap, bronco on the loose


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danny d rockin out


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anthony and tyler outside the church


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joey and laurie outside too


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me and ben outside smoking... trying to steal a free limo ride


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rahmer burning it down on the dance floor


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zack getting down while waitng for tyler to ask him to dance


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laura and the sex panther aka billy


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brannon and some broad he brought; i don't know her name


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me drunk and ernie having a ball...


until joey sends me flicks, that's it...

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

season of the siccness got me brooding

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well fucking A. it's 3AM again. i can't ever go to sleep early. anyway, i actually got off my ass and did something i said i was going to do and wrote a piece for fanzine on Bill O'Reilly and the Republican preemptive strike in anticipation of losing the House and Senate in three weeks. north korea, log cabin republicans and the bush administration are all in cahoots to thwart republican's chances in november—well, according to bill o'reilly's logic. i should probably change the title to Preemptive Strike. also, if anyone wants to give me a late birthday present, i'm currently needing this video: Brotha Lynch Hung: Ghetto Celebrities.

Monday, October 16, 2006

try to be nice and look what it gets ya

i was at the bus stop on 11th and cherry today waiting to get on the bus back to nyc. this lady starts talking to me. i could tell from her voice she was a little fucked up and on something. she asked me to help her carry this big bag onto the bus for her. i carried her stuff onto the bus and tossed my bag onto the middle part of the bus. "go to the back of the bus," she said. so i carried her stuff to the back of the bus. i say, "ok, see ya" and she grabs my hand and starts rubbing it saying something like, "oh, you don't want to sit back here with me?" and trying to get me to come back there, which i didn't really want to do, but she wouldn't let go of my hand. she says her name is Toya. finally the bus-lady came on and asked for our tickets and started yelling at Toya to get off the bus. i guess she knew Toya didn't have a ticket. she says to me, "oh, i'm gonna run to the store real quick i'll be right back. what's your number?" i gave her a fake number and she got off the bus and i was praying she wouldn't come back on, urging the bus to take off before she had a chance. then instead this cute girl came on and sat behind me. she looked like someone i used to know, but she had glasses and this red lipstick on, which the s.i.u.t.k. probably never wears(i totally have a thing for cute girls in glasses). i never get to talk to the one i want. the only people who talk to me are (a) hookers; (b) cops pretending to be hookers; or (c) agents of creditors pretending to be hookers.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

abating the inevitable

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the above photo is pretty much famous now. it is significant for two reasons: one, it's me and and my nephew phoenix when he was almost 1, reading hustler at my brother's house when he lived in LA. today (10.10) is his second birthday, so happy birthday to my main little man. two: the author of this photograph of infamy is my best friend sarah, who went to LA with me to see a taping of the price is right. today (10.10) is also her birthday, so happy birthday, sarah.

i'm trying to get back updating this thing because i know nobody is reading it and i need some exercise in futility that doesn't have anything to do with: (a) trying to meet interesting women in brooklyn; (b) the fanzine; (c) the fanzine's long-drawn-out tax status; (d) cutting my own hair; (e) national and world politics; (f) internet pornography. i always try to update this blog late at night, so before i get distracted by (f), i'm trying to force myself to do an update for all you non-readers out there. first, i updated the maine trip finally with some brief observations of peak's island and my times spent there. two, i don't want to take away from the post i made earlier today, with the always great billy bragg doing "waiting for the great leap forward" (updated for these times) on craig ferguson's show a couple nights ago, so i'm leaving that as its own post. watch it and have a better day.

i have a couple short pieces lined up for fanzine this week: one—actually both—related somewhat to the billy bragg video. they're still brewing somewhat, but i need to get them done pretty quickly before the news goes stale. i wrote up a couple of news items about them on fanzine. one is an extension of my piece on the north korean ICBM test this summer and a somewhat satirical look at their recent nuclear test (was it or wasn't it?) and bill o'reilly's assertion on monday that north korea and iraq/iran (to him, they're the same country... so probably about half the country also believes this... FOX is where most of the country learned osama bin laden and saddam hussein were brothers-in-arms right? that they both planned 9.11? right?) are attempting to influence next month's elections by increasing violence and detonating nuclear devices. terrorists would love to defeat bush and weaken america, and installing democrats into congress and the house of representatives by any means necessary is a surefire way to do that. democrats, in the essence of o'reilly's argument here, are just like terrorists—putting them into office means a weaker america that's more open to terrorist attacks, and the two go neatly hand-in-hand as a sort of puppet regime, one can suppose. and following this line of reasoning, so are denny hastert and his fumbling crew of clowns.

meanwhile, there are over 2700 U.S. soldiers dead in iraq (we don't even bother counting the tens of thousands of dead iraqis as a result of the war), and millions of people back in the states have been affected by their absence, deaths, post-war trauma, the futility of fighting a war we are increasingly realizing we cannot win and despite numerous official assertions to this effect as well as the fact that we can't turn back, our republican leaders hold fast to their (unfounded) ideals and (wrong) beliefs that ultimately we will triumph.

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take comfort, all you worried souls. we got this: flat daddies, almost as good as the real thing.

i also want to do a closer look at the YouTube/Google merger. Google bought YouTube, the source for this blog's, and countless others' video links and sourcing, on Monday for $1.65billion (mostly in stock options), harkening back the to early nineties' dot.com explosion and securing google's place as the leader of pretty much everything public on the Internet. however, it also means a lot of combing for the new YouTube, since companies have been dying to sue the fuck out of them for copyright infringement pretty much since they started (think of how many tv/movie clips you've dug around and linked from there... hell there's five of them on my myspace acct. already and i just posted another one earlier) and now that they're owned by Google, the biggest moneymaker in recent virtual history, there needs to be some big changes if Google expects to keep most of that money. it's likely YouTube will lose some of its teeth while under the responsibility of Google—even if they had enough money to handle the thousands of copyright infringement suits, they probably wouldn't. i like Google, and i love YouTube, but this brings G one step closer to owning the Internet.

what the fuck. i'm leaving myself pretty open to getting my shit stolen, but everybody is a fucking "writer" these days. which is probably why i can't get a real job. blogging has made everyone a writer, everyone is their own editor. this is why i see listings for jobs that will pay me 50 cents a page for articles. fuck this. give me a real fucking job.

oh yeah, got exterminated two weeks ago. kate ended up doing almost $50 worth of laundry. i did about $12 worth and was bummed, but didn't think i had room to complain. so far we haven't had any bed bug issues or seen any, though earlier i thought the two i caught a couple weeks ago had escaped. hopefully they never come back. oh yeah, i think i got crabs from the strippers in AC.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

all hail the youtube juggernaut

Okay, I know I've been slacking on this blog for the past week. But here's some news: Google buys YouTube for $1.65b. Should be some story on this.


Other news of high importance: all hail Billy Bragg on Craig Ferguson's late show.




more tk, with maine update.